By cosmogirl.com:

You're sensitive.

Guys may walk up to you with a clever pickup line, but they leave saying, "Geez, that girl is smart!" It's not that you're a mini Einstein (or maybe you are), but your thoughtful-ness turns any chitchat into meaningful talk.

Semisweet.

You appreciate love but realize it's not the answer to everything. That optimistic - but not obsessed - attitude helps you attract guys and be open to relationships without feeling the need to bake pink cookies for your homeroom.

You're Air.

You like to be friends first with a guy before dating him. You're guided by your head rather than your heart, so you need a mate who can match you on an intellectual level. A Gemini, Libra, or Aquarius will intrigue you.

HAHA. so interesting. but of course, i dun think they're accurate. how can they tell by asking just a few questions, right? oh wells, i had a rushing day. but weekend's drawing near. im excited. aren't you?

goodnight.

looking at them, i would like to be in a place where they are at too.

i believe it's a wonderful place with full of ups and downs. a place where you have someone there to share your happiness and sorrows with.

i heard that it's not easy to get there. the travelling time to get there varies for different people. some take an hour. others take weeks. it depends. the journey there isn't easy too. some face more obstacles than the rest.

well, all i know is that i would like to get there some day. i wouldn't wanna take too long. nor do i wanna get there so fast. i envy those who are already there. they seem to be having fun. patience is a virtue, they say. i guess i'll just have to wait and see if they're right. so many uncertainties.

goodnight, all.

"A true friend is someone who sees the pain in your eyes while everyone else believes the smile on your face"

- Alex

Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

- Dr. Seuss

Today I caught myself smiling for no reason... then I realized I was thinking about you

- Unknown

If you love someone put their name in a circle, not a heart, because hearts can be broken but circles go on forever!

- Unknown

We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.

- Sam Keen, from To Love and Be Loved

"The spaces between your fingers were created so that another's could fill them in."

- Unknown

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail, but your best friend is the one sitting next to you saying "that was f***ing awesome"

- J-Dub

It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone -- but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

- Unknown

Never regret. If it's good, it's wonderful. If it's bad, it's experience.

- Victoria Holt, writer

The worst feeling you'll ever feel is sitting next to the person who means the world to you knowing that you mean nothing to them

- Unknown

Sometimes people put up walls, not to keep others out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.

- Bananna

"You never really stop loving someone. you just learn to try to live without them."

- unknown

God gave us a penis and a brain but not enough blood to use both at the same time.

- Robin Williams

No one will win the battle of the sexes, there is too much flirting with the enemy

- Henry Kissinger

"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't."


- Erica Jong

"When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one that has opened for us."

- Alexander Graham Bell

If you truly love someone, then the only thing you want for them is to be happy....even if its not with you

- Lauren&L

i had a very cute Saturday. yes, i meant it. cute. i have never described an outing like that before, serious.

highlight of the day: collected the tickets which stated "Spiderman 3, Saturday, 5th May, 3:30am."

note anything wrong with the details on the printed ticket? it's 3:30 AM! what the hell were we thinking being there at 3:30PM. HAHA. it's funny, really. but in the end, it was all good. hiccups are inevitable. and if you were to look at it on a brighter side, hiccups once in a while are good. it makes your outing a more eventful one. haha.

oh yes. before realising the tickets were for the 3:30AM one, we actually sat at a cafe to have a drink to kill time. hehe. here are the pictures.

  
the cafe where we had cakes.

    
 i like the layout of the place.

  
and the brownie i had? ORGASMIC. haha.

how about the tiramisu he had? i bet it was an orgasmic experience for him too. HAHA.

the pineapple and lime drink i had. sounds damn sour. but to my surprise, the taste wasn't too overpowering. according to him, it's refreshing. agreed.

sorry. i forgot to take a picture of his drink. damn. i really liked the shape of the glass though. heh.

after the movie......

plaza singapura. spotlight. acrylic fabric. egyptian cotton?! times bookshop. pizza hut. people-watching. or rather, couple-watching. observing body language. speculating. super sweet pizza hut waitress. full stomach. walked to esplanade. crowded nak mampos. marina square's flight of stairs? also crowded nak mampos. haha. metal bench. more talks. digital shots. home. no one. walked to granny's place. met with the cousins. chilled with the makciks and pakciks and not forgetting nenek. home sweet home.

have i mentioned? i DREAD mondays. second part of the day, especially.

Dear God, please help me through this semester nicely. i know i suck at sewing. but i gotta do this and i need your help. thank you. :)

i dun really like Sundays either. it's just so mendak. haha. chao!

ps: im so sorry Rai. Happy one-day belated birthday to you, dear! i'll take you out soon, okay? saayaaang awak. heh.

hello world!

went out with azfar today. i like going out with him. there's no pressure of talking to him all the time. that's one. two. i can go on bitching and whining about everything around me and he still won't care. three. he asks me stupid random questions. some of which are thinking question. but i like thinking questions. cos they stimulate my brain. heh.

got a dorothy perkins dress from someone last sunday. sighs. you shouldn't have. but thank you very much. i loved it.

14th April. first meet-up. 29th April. second meet-up. bugis. levi's. trying on of jeans. swensens. insightful talks. marina square. fox. zara. topshop. dorothy perkins. suntec city. closed guess. fox again. trying on of shirt. $3 tee-shirt. walking to arab street. lepak with the brother and the friends. it's all good. but i wouldn't wanna speak too soon. -shrugs-

it's been a while since i felt appreciated. even though i dun react to compliments well, once in a while, they really make your day. i mean, c'mon, who doesn't like compliments. oh wait a minute. i dun like compliments. insincere ones, i mean. you can just sense if someone is sincere or not ah. really.

school's been o-kay. but assignments are slowly creeping up my neck. and with the wireless thing being set up at home right now so doesn't help. it's keeping me away from my notes. and the study table is for notes. NOT LAPTOP! hahaha.

i like seeing couples in love. they're just so cute. they say things like "im so crazy about you", "you'll never walk alone", "you stole my heart away", etc. hahaha. sometimes, i wonder. if i can ever be in their shoes. i mean, my heart is a little numb right now. but i guess that's just a way of guarding myself. and as you might have already know, i've got trust issues. so, until you can prove yourself worthy, you're getting nothing.

i fear of the unknown. if only i can see the future like the japanese guy in heroes. but then again, what's the fun in it if you know everything, then? oh farah, you're so fickle laa. haha. okay then. this is it. goodnight.

things i hate (in random order):-

1. people squeezing my arms.
2. girls spreading rumours.
3. insensitive people.
4. judgmental people.
5. the need to depend on someone.
6. the word 'love'.
7. pretending.
8. being moody.
9. the feeling of loneliness.
10. being kept in the dark.

can someone tell me why bitches always win?
oh, and i so think the girlfriend song by avril lavigne is so bitchy. like what the hell?!
on the other hand, that video is a perfect example of a bitch winning. see, see what i mean? aaah, whatever.

okay, i am convinced. after looking at some pictures, i am convinced that i am just not good looking enough for him. it's just too bad that i'm not tall and doesn't have big eyes. perhaps the only thing that i have is fair skin. and perhaps, even that, my fair skin isn't fair enough for him.

i know it's wrong. to be complaining and all as if im not grateful for what God has given me. i should be grateful. in fact, i am. cause at least, i still have all my senses. afterall, with God's will, He can just take away my limbs, my senses, my life, anytime. our body is His and not ours. 

but, i just cant help it. with the pressure from all kinds of sources telling us, or rather, brainwashing us that thin is IN, big eyes are beautiful, small nose is cute, and etc, i cant help to think im always not good enough. i know. i know. this is sickening. but im sure i'm not the only one. argh.

i really have some issues with myself that i need to resolve. it is for my own good. for my own well-being. i just need to find a way to do it. im sure there is. and i KNOW He is always there to help me.

school's starting soon. a day of vacation left, in fact. am i prepared? i hope i am. im just very nervous about the subjects im gonna take. i really really hope i can manage them. insya'Allah.

nur, dun worry, kay? i'll always try to help you in every way i can. thank you for listening to my whinings during the nights and all. i sayang you very much tau. can't wait to see you in school. -hugs-

alright then, this is it. im tired and i need to sleep. goodnight, fellow beings. :)

ps: i miss him very much. very very very much. sighs.

and so, i've just had my sahur not too long ago and was planning to go back to sleep. but i can't sleep until i get to type this. it's crazy, i tell you. it's like someone is talking at the back of my mind. talking about this entry i'm about to type. telling me what to type and how it should be phrased. psychotic. haha.

and for now, i've decided not to let go just as yet. to hang on tight. i'm just not yet ready to throw everything away. the outings, the late-night phone calls, the feeling when i'm with him. no, cannot. i'll be stupid if i throw all that away easily. especially when i have no concrete reason why i should.

you have been my motivator. you have given me encouragement when i needed them. okay, so what if i feel a little disappointed that you didn't praise me a bit more than you did. but at least you did, a little. and i know you mean good. and i'm getting used to it.

and the best part is. i know, that deep down, even if you don't say it, you do appreciate me. for the little things i did. and i know, that you know, that i appreciate you. and i think even much more than you'll ever appreciate me. but that's okay. i can swallow that. i can live with that.

just the other day, i asked God to help me. help me decide if i should hang on or let go. i asked Him to give me a sign in my dream. if i should hang on, let me dream of him. and if i should let go, dun let me dream of him. i mean, dreams.. we either remember them, or forget them. weirdly enough, i did dream of him. and i can still remember what happened. maybe, not the minute details. but, i can still remember. which is rare.

yes, perhaps, it is just a mere coincidence. and that, maybe, the dream results from me thinking too much of him. but actually, not really. he just occassionally comes into my mind. not too much.

and yes, perhaps, it is never meant to be between us. but, i believe i will be able to digest that eventually, i know. but as for now, since there's no 'the other one', i guess i should just remain patient. i mean, i've waited. i'm gonna continue to wait. so what's another year, or two, or three or four? they're just numbers. 

you know, like they always say.. "patience is a virtue". also, i found this part of the book very handy. it mentioned, "Your patience will pay off in the long run as he appreciates the fact that you are supportive of him, his relationships, and his personal goals. Then, when he comes around to spend time with you, you'll know it's because he wants to, not because he feels like he has to." 

thus, i guess i should just continue to be supportive and not to distract him from his responsibilities. he has got his, and i have got mine. and that is how it is gonna be until some day when God decide to send me another sign, despite it being positive or negative. i trust Him. i know He loves me and know what's best for me. :)

but i also know, i'm not gonna starve myself. i feel it is alright to mingle. in fact, i think we should. just as long as there are limits. afterall, after getting to see the types of people there are, won't you better appreciate the person? and be more grateful that he's like this and not that? however, i believe, you're always able to know to whom your feelings are stronger for, if you really really asked yourself. as for now, i know mine for sure.

and as a disclaimer on my part, i can't guarantee that i'll be this patient in time to come and that i'll really do what i said. i'll try, but i'll never know. anything can happen. though, im not expecting it. i'll just continue to hope and pray for the best.

okay. now, i can finally go back to sleep peacefully. good morning to you.

imagine yourself as someone else and making friends with the actual you..

will you like this new friend of yours (who is actually the you, now)..... or not?

be honest and answer this to your own self.. what can you do to make yourself better?

as for myself, i know there's plenty of room for improvement.. ;)

try this too..

think of someone you don't really fancy.. start thinking and picking out the positive things there are to him/her.. (dun tell me there's none.. im sure there is something, at least)..
that way, you may start to slowly appreciate him/her in the end..

after that, try doing the same thing (picking out the positive character traits or even positive features) to every other person you already know or just get to know.. this way, you'll feel much better about the people around you.. and even yourself!

you see, when you talk about or keep on focusing on someone's negative traits, you must also remember that you too might have them and other's might talk about them too..

i must admit, i too, may sometimes think of someone else's negative traits.. well, to me, it's most like because whenever we do that, we tend to feel better about ourselves.. at the expense of others.. but i realise, that's pretty mean and selfish, in a bad way.. (selfish in a good way is acceptable, i guess.. heh..) that's why, i'll try to pick out nice things about people as far as possible.. yayy.. hehee..

this is all for today..

''Having a chameleon character. Bad or good?'' will be discussed in the next entry (God knows when will that be.. heh..) chao!